Monthly Archives: October 2010

Great expectations?

I need a reality check. Is it unrealistic to expect 11 year olds to be organized? I am only talking about organization skills related to time tables. Every evening I remind Akank to check her time table for the next day so that she can pack her school bag overnight. When we were kids, our dad would be a dictator when it came to packing our school bags. We couldn’t retire for the night until we kept our school bags all packed and ready for the next day however exhausted we were after home work and revisions.

I am not even close to being autocratic with my daughter. She does not even carry any books to school. This school she attends believes in working online and whatever books she is given is over the weekend or once a fortnight to revise. So all she needs to check every night is whether her pencil pouch, her school organizer and sun hat is packed along with whatever school assignment that she had for the day. Invariably, I always find either the pencil pouch or the organizer or the sun hat left behind after she leaves. Some days, like today, I find all three stacked on the dining table , near where her bag was, and left behind.  Today she also left her log book from camp that she diligently wrote everything in last evening,  back with the rest of the stuff.

I have two choices. Feel bad for her that she was going to have to explain to her class teacher about her forgetfulness ( and which class teacher of which 11 yo is going to be happy about that?) or cab it to school that is 20kms away and hand it to the school office and request them to send it to her. I am voting for the first option with my mind and the second with my heart. Looks like my heart will win over this time.

But do you think that will send the wrong message to Akank that she can be saved even when she is in definite trouble- both at home and at school?

I am a mom in dilemma today.

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Posted by on October 5, 2010 in Emotions, Trouble


I miss her.

Unbelievably, I have stayed off blogging for a month and it was not because I had nothing to say. I had so much and I did not know where to start.

Akank has gotten used to rhythm of life here and has settled down comfortably in her new school environs too. The first parent teacher conference pretty much confirmed it. She has made an effort to make new friends, acquaintances and also has managed to make snap decisions on who she is not going to get along with at her class like a typical 11 yo. Today she returns from a 5 day camping trip that the school had organized which was aimed at breaking ice and peer groups to accept and make the new children feel a sense of belonging to the school and the class. Hopefully, I will have an update of exciting times at Tioman and how she has managed to make new friends and new opinions too.

These days ( Ok, I am lying….These days should actually read‘ For a long time now...) Akank and I do not see eye to eye on many things to do with school, academics, study times, home work completion, choice of friends, choice of clothes, choice of food, choice of books… and the list is endless. It seems that the preadolescence time that I always assumed was a myth, is not. I cannot recall a time that I had with my mother that was so stressful at that age. But my mom recalls, even though not in great detail, that I may have been a similar version minus the knowledge the exposure and the freedom that we give the kids today to express opinions about everything that concerns them. Of course, my mother seems to have forgiven me for all of that and more and that alone reassures me that I may not remember the scars from today many years later.

I have missed Akank this week. Her dad has missed her more. I can tell you that for sure and my mom will second that since she hasn’t heard me wondering what Akank was up to at her camp every time  the sun shone, or the clouds went grey. I do miss admonishing her when the TV volume is turned up, her iPod lying around carelessly, her books out of place, her piano lessons on the floor, the computer time she uses to play games when she was supposed to have been browsing for information, the school organizer that she misplaces, the pencil pouch which is on the dining table, her uniforms that are still on the floor and not in the wash, her uncombed hair, her forced front fringe, the same tee shirts that she choses to wear, the unfinished lunches… How I miss her:-(

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Posted by on October 1, 2010 in Emotions, updates